At this point in my way of thinking, the BBC went and Jumped the Bloody Shark. The only, and I mean ONLY story that even graces my 1 to 10 scale at all with the Eleventh Doctor is two part Finale. While I like Amy and Rory as characters, I do NOT like what has happened to to the Doctor. Matt Smith is a great actor, but he has been given complete crap to work with, in my mind. While he does have a few good moments, notably when he was on a rant about the Star Whale and his interaction with young Amelia, most of his Doctor’s style leaves much to be desired. Sorry Matt, I like you, but you’ve been given the short end of the stick in my opinion. It’s not your fault.
In addition, the Day Glow Power Ranger Daleks make my brain hurt. You all KNOW that was a marketing ploy for toys.
Major Hatred goes towards the new filming style. I’m not sure what happened, but it looks to me like they’re using different cameras or something. Everything is too clean and crisp. This may be a result of both cameras and set design, but I honestly cannot stand it. Everything isn’t supposed to be nice, shiny, and plastic looking! “The Pandorica Opens” and “The Big Bang” got real close to the look it really needs. USE IT!
BTW: Why was that Hoix there? They’re eating machines!
To Moffet: Stick with writing creepy episodes. It’s what you’re best at. I know you love Doctor Who, and you entered the business because of it, but I really really HATE what you’ve done to the series. It’s not just a kids show for the love of Rassilon… all the fans grew up! SHAME ON YOU FOR “GIRL IN THE FIREPLACE”! Adding a love story ON TOP OF a love story was the absolute WORST thing you could have ever done! Rose Fell in Love with Big Ears when she was trapped in that cellar with the gaslight ghosts and zombies. Moron. Big Ears himself did much the same… just in case you DIDN’T NOTICE! I Don’t Care if you don’t like romance in the TARDIS! It was there, you wanker!
To Tennant: SHAME ON YOU FOR LEAVING. Typecasting be damned, you know you loved it. I know your back is all wonky, but they could’ve worked around that. Stage is one thing, and I’m glad you’re still doing it, (Hamlet was brilliant) but you watched the Doctor as a kid and that kid was melting every single time you walked on set. The Fuck were you thinking?
To Piper: SHAME ON YOU FOR LEAVING TO GO PLAY A GODDAMNED HOOKER! “Doomsday” Obliterated Millions of Fans, and it’s All Your Fault! That Secrets Show so beneath you it isn’t even remotely humorous. I tried watching one episode, and I couldn’t stand it. Glad you’re making money and raising a son with £400k a year, but stripping for the camera? Love you to pieces and beyond, but … Just… No. Please, just no! I’m probably one of the few straight men that DOESN’T want to see that. You’re bloody gorgeous, but I just cannot see you in that role without becoming sick to my stomach.
To the BBC: WAKE THE BLOODY FUCK UP! You’ve got a Gold Mine with the Clone Doctor and Rose. Rehire David, Billie, Camille, and Shawn. Pull Gareth David-Lloyd, Burn Gorman, and Naoko Mori back in as counterparts for their Torchwood if you really want to get the ratings. Raise their salaries to get them if you have to. Grab and SHOVE that cut scene of the coral gift back in. Call it Meta Who or whatever suits your fancies. Pop the Zeppelins out of the skies if you need to save on the effects. WE WONT CARE! Push it past the 9pm wall so you can hit more drama. Have the first series show how “John Smith” and Rose grow their new TARDIS while having to deal with Torchwood, their fledgling relationship, drama between the Tyler family, and how different that world is. Second Series: A Wind Up to a Wedding, with a name change for “John Smith” to “John Tyler”. And… Do it with Russell at the Helm… PEOPLE WILL WATCH IT AND WORSHIP YOUR FEET FOR THE PRIVILEGE!
*Blows out a breath*
God I feel better
Sorry about that everyone.
David, Billie… I adore both of you more than you could possibly know. You had the best roles you could have ever wanted and you gave them up… for the fear of typecasting, lack of growth, or some other nonsense. Get with Russell… You wont regret it, I promise.
If all of you absolutely will not do that, then Billie… get David to show up on your show. Us fans can pretend, and YouTube can have more fan based videos on how John and Rose finally got together. We’re in millions of pieces over what happened. I know I am, anyway.
Look up “seduff” over at YouTube and you’ll find some spectacular edits on how your characters story moved on. And she’s Australian, for the love of all that’s Holy! You two really don’t know just how many people love and adore you!
All right… enough of that. I’ve wound myself into a tizzy.
