Mood: Morose and Ambivalent
Listening To: University of CA Men’s Octet – Every Breath You Take

Well, I’m still here. Not much has changed in the home front, but I’ve taken a bit of a personal sabbatical from all things that I’ve been working on in writing, gaming, personal interactions, online roleplay, the whole schmeer.

I’d like to say that it was planned, but it really wasn’t. It was more of a complete withdrawal from anything and everything. Put simply, I’ve hit a large emotional low point in my life and it’s lasted several months. I’d like to apologize to anyone and everyone for dropping off the face of the earth. Hitting the circular reasoning cycle is a train wreck that keeps happening and goes nowhere pretty damn fast.

Put even more simply: I emotionally imploded. *shrugs*

This isn’t to say that I’m better at all, and I don’t think that I am. I’m not sure if I ever will be, without a proper medical diagnosis of my skeletal joints. Having no explanation as to why I am in pain 24/7 is a very large rucksack of emotional baggage. I hate it, and can’t say that that I like the medical community very much at all.

I think the straw that did the proverbial, was when that woman put my dog to sleep. Bitch. One thing that I don’t think I’ll ever forgive that woman for, is that she did not contact me about what was happening. Enough of that.

Listening To: Juno Reactor – Angels and Men

I’ve pretty much decided that I’m going to start rewriting the Rosewood in Script format. This is due to two different virtual series that I’ve been reading: Star Trek Reborn and Charmed: Reset Reality. Their stories seem to flow better without all the flowery prose, and I think that’s what had me stalled on it for so long.

City of Heroes is finally going to do what I’ve wanted them to do, and at this point I simply don’t care anymore. It’s the same grind with the same maps and the same monotonous litany, that being able to change the colors of your powers or flipping to the other side really doesn’t amount to much.

I’m thinking of dropping CoH altogether, and there are a couple of replacements that I have my eye on that are fighting for my attention. Star Trek Online, and Star Wars: The Old Republic. I’m leaning towards SWTOR though, since I’m not sure how engaging STO can be with how they’re setting things up.

Sony burned everyone with Star Wars Galaxies, and I’m hoping that TOR will mend that fence. KOTOR I &II were wonderful, and if they can pull off an MMO with that I’ll be a happy clam. Their class setup is a little odd to me though.

We’ll see.

Listening To: Linkin Park Reanimation- One Step Closer

As to why I’m coming out of my hole: I’m pissed. Pissed at life. Pissed at me. Pissed at everything in general. Grahr.

I hate where I’m at now. I have no control over it, and it simply ticks me off. Nothing can really help with that.

The other reason is that the Wife is going for a degree through her workplace. She asked me what I thought I could do similarly, and I haven’t the foggiest. I want to take art and writing classes, but I’m in that loop reasoning of what if I can’t keep up with it?

FUCK DOCTORS! Sick of them not being able to tell me what the hell is wrong.

Well, that was random…

At any rate, I’m going to attempt writing again.

Peace out,
Jonn